What REALLY Goes on at the Pines

**Position Announcement**

Interested in making a difference in the lives of adolescents and young adults?

Qualifications:

• Time traveler and/or miracle worker (of course there's 36 hours in the day!)
• Can multi-task (do notes in your sleep, do family sessions from the bathroom, do case management from your car, telepathy is a serious plus!)
• Don't need bathroom breaks or food or water – just copious amounts of caffeine and/or amphetamines (you were wondering what to do with all of that extra energy anyway)
• Enjoy being treated like an indentured servant or mule (Degrees? Experience? Respect? Who cares?)
• Have at least 6 hands and 3 brains (ability to type with your toes or have independently working ears and eyes are also an enormous plus!)
• Appreciate the opportunity to work 36 hours a day, 10 days a week
• Enjoy being patronized (gift cards and smoothies anyone?)
• Have special affection for condescending attitudes (not just from your “boss” but the nursing and cafeteria staff too!!)
• Relish pondering your job security due to thinly veiled threats via in person meetings and emails...oh and definitely DON'T park on the grass.
• Enjoy having patients (and social workers, families, and others!) depend on you only to disappoint them (isn't it fun!) Why aren't they available at 2 am?
• Enjoy appearing scattered and incompetent (it's sooo modern!)
• Savor the feeling of impending doom (just a matter of time before someone goes postal!)
• Revel the look of shock and pity when others find out where you work (the news is so dramatic!)
• Feel superior for working sick or on no sleep – or better yet allow someone else to take care of your sick loved one because “work comes first!”
• Enjoy long silences and disapproving looks from your significant other, kids, family and friends...or better yet, don't bother with any of those kinds of people – who needs them? Oh and think of all the family functions you'll have a reason to miss!
• Love crating your dog for 16 hours a day – or longer!
• Never take a vacation – I mean...really who does that?
• Have a secret pool of whose going to walk out first...so much better than fantasy football!
• Don't have a personal identity that involves any thing other that work (Hobbies are for less motivated people!)
• Welcome others to be extremely critical of you (hey...it helps them feel less incompetent in their jobs if they can blame you)
• Like being the patsy AND the scape goat
• Love! Love! Love! a hostile work environment :-)
• Willing to work for pennies on the hour (salary is an awesome idea! It saves accounting from calculating time and a half!) And remember, in this economy you should be grateful! Even though you don't get to eat with your family, you're pretty sure they still do.
• Love the idea of being bullied by a Fortune 500 company – seriously, they must know what they're doing – they've made a fortune (LOL...Hence the name! Get it?)

If this sounds like the perfect job for you, then CONGRATS you have the job...

at least until they shut us down!

 

 

Mandatory Overtime Definition

Mandatory overtime is when employers require employees to work in excess of 40 hours per workweek, even if employees don't want to. Subsequently, employees often refer to it as forced mandatory overtime or simply forced overtime.
Federal overtime law under the FLSA does not prohibit employers from forcing employees to work mandatory overtime.
In fact, the FLSA doesn't at all restrict the total number of work hours that employers may schedule for employees who are age 16 or older. The FLSA restricts work hours only for employees who are younger than age 16.
In other words, there are no protections under the FLSA for workers 16 and older who refuse to work mandatory overtime. As a result, workers 16 and older who refuse to work it are "legally" subject to employer discipline, up to and including discharge.
Employers can't always get away with forcing mandatory overtime, such as by "squeezing" current workers to avoid hiring new workers. Employee lawsuits against employers regarding excessive mandatory overtime are on the rise, particularly by salaried-exempt employees.
Because salaried-exempt employees are not eligible for overtime pay under the FLSA, employers may require them to work extra hours without extra pay. Even so, when forced, excessive work hours became the "norm" every workweek, some salaried-exempt employees filed and won so-called mandatory overtime lawsuits.
Consult an attorney about challenging your employer's forcing of excessive mandatory overtime, through a lawsuit. Overtime lawsuits are often class actions.
http://employeeissues.com/mandatory_overtime.htm

Hostile Work Environment Definition

All sorts of behavior can create what employees deem to be a "hostile work environment". But, in the legal sense, a hostile work environment is caused by unwelcome conduct in the workplace, in the form of discriminatory harassment toward one or more employees.
O

ther names for a hostile work environment include intimidating work environment, offensive work environment, abusive work environment and hostile workplace.

• Makes a change that is so intolerable it would compel any reasonable employee to resign, then you might have a case for constructive discharge if you soon quit because of the change

• Intentionally or recklessly inflicts severe (substantial or enduring) emotional or mental distress on you through atrocious or heinous conduct, then you might be entitled to your sue bad boss for intentional infliction of emotional distress (IIED), also referred to as the tort of outrage

http://employeeissues.com/hostile_work_environment.htm

Constructive Discharge Definition

Constructive discharge is an exception that renders the Doctrine of Employment at Will inapplicable. Also referred to as constructive termination, it's a legal concept developed by the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB), a government agency that protects workers' union rights.

The following is a summation of the general proof required to establish a legal case for a constructive discharge claim, according to various sources at this writing.

The NLRB developed the concept to right the wrong when employers coerced employees to resign, because the employees were legitimately involved in union activities.
Since then, constructive discharge law has been evolving in the courts to cover other situations. The legal concept has become a doctrine, for which the particulars are still evolving.

• The change must have been recent and so intolerable, that it would have compelled any reasonable employee to quit soon after it occurred.
• The employer must have deliberately implemented or permitted the change, without having justifiable business reasons and despite that it was apparent it would compel any reasonable employee to resign. Even if the employer's intention was not specifically to force an employee to resign, the employee's resignation still might constitute constructive discharge under the circumstances.
• An employee's resignation must have occurred close enough in time after the intolerable change that it established a clear "cause and effect" relationship, directly resulting in constructive discharge.

Punitive transfer to a dangerous job, demotion to a humiliating position, hostility, harassment and coercion are each an example of an intolerable working-condition change that might establish a legal case for a constructive discharge claim, particularly if the employer willfully made or allowed the change as a form of illegal discrimination or retaliation.

http://employeeissues.com/constructive_discharge.htm

I know what you're thinking....Mass exodus? Class Action Law Suit? Going to the Media? A Strike complete with a picket line? A Sit In? Or how about just keep your mouth shut, continue being a hypocrite – you are telling people we provide therapeutic services – right? Remember to smile and most of all...

BE A TEAM PLAYER!